MeetGist

TW: mentions of suicide. Use of ableist language. 

You know the internet - it's the faithful provider of all the cat videos and memes you could ever wish for in a lifetime, and also the relentless breeding ground for infinite human ignorance and general gross-ness.

In the latest bout of internet ignorance, people took to Twitter to list all of the #SignsSomeoneIsPsycho. Like I said...gross.

Like those of us with mental illness don't face enough stigma for our symptoms and general existence, now the same people that earnestly tweet the numbers of suicide helplines after a celebrity  death are happily tweeting all of the things that show someone is a "psycho". This varied from the more humorous entries like biting a kit-kat across all four sections, to the more serious entries and the outright targeted ones designed to mock mental illness and the term "triggered".

The term "psycho" is stigmatising, it's reductive, and it does nothing but further isolate people with mental illnesses. Those of us that struggle with our mental health are more than just our symptoms, and more than a casual ableist throwaway term to be used for 60 seconds of amusement for bored people on Twitter. The worst thing about this term and the use of it this way is that it likens us to the colloquial use of the term "psychopaths" with the clear intent to imply that we are dangerous, remorseless, devoid in some way of "normal" human emotion, and it is used liberally to apply to anyone that displays symptoms of mental illness or what is considered "abnormal" behaviour.

Yeah, it's gross.

So, I decided that instead of this ignorant and stigmatising hashtag trending, we should get a different hashtag trending instead; one that could actually help people.

I'm not disciplined enough to willingly go to the gym on a spa break, but I did enjoy the pool and the jacuzzi, steam room, and sauna. Everything was clean and very modern, and left me feeling all kinds of relaxed. Of course, that may also have had something to do with the amazing massage I had beforehand, and the time spent in the relaxation room. 

The room was admittedly a little dated and in need of a general refurbishment, but it was clean and comfortable,  and we were greeted with a bottle of wine on arrival too. As it is a wedding venue, there can be considerable noise from other, somewhat inebriated guests, but what the room was really missing was air-conditioning. Although not a common complaint in Scotland, especially in older buildings, the room was very warm and I did find it difficult to get comfortable as a result.

The water pressure for the shower was great, and the room came equipped with a hair-dryer, iron/ironing board, stationery, kettle with tea and coffee. The room also had a nice view of the castle. Overall I was happy with my stay  in the room and would definitely return.

Dinner service was where things took a bit of a downward turn, and I think the lacklustre experience really let the hotel down.

We were early for dinner and offered to wait at the bar - it was a Saturday night and there was a wedding in progress so they were clearly very busy - but we were assured it was fine and shown to our seats. Around twenty minutes then went by before any wait staff approached the table, and even then it was only because my very irate mother went to the restaurant reception and asked to be served. I had to make my way to the bar just so we would have something to drink; not a great start.

Being plant-based, I am always wary of the vegan options available in older hotels, but was pleased to see a few options - except the one vegan dessert (chocolate brownie) wasn't available (although it was available as a non-vegan option). I ordered a courgette and aubergine lasagne to start, and although tasty, what arrived was far from what I envisioned when I ordered "lasagne". There was no pasta, just layers of courgette and aubergine in a very watery tomato sauce (which tells me the veg was frozen or the chefs are not used to cooking with vegetables). An extra ramekin of tomato sauce was provided so overall it was nice, but it was very underwhelming for something touted as a lasagne, and for something that is priced at £5.

Absolutely. With the dinner service and the relatively basic rooms, I wouldn't give this hotel a perfect score, but I definitely enjoyed my stay and would actually love to go back. The spa was lovely, the  main hotel was well maintained, and the room was well-equipped even if it was no-frills. The dinner experience was a bit disappointing but nothing that was so poor it would stop me from returning, and the food was overall very nice. I would have no qualms about booking another spa break here!

But in general, I don't think my tips make too many assumptions about income so without further ado...

So the first step to saving money is, unsurprisingly, actually saving money. Decide on how much you can afford to save every week/month and stick to it; as soon as you are paid, put your savings into a separate account (if you're really savvy go for a good interest rate one) and then act like that money is gone. When you budget, do not count that money in the budget, treat it like a bill that's been taken from your account. Do not fall into the trap of "I'll just dip into my savings this once..." because it is rarely just once, and if you need to keep accessing your savings then you haven't budgeted or you're not taking it seriously. Try a fixed-access account that limits the number of withdrawals you can make in a year (see later in this post).

I can already sense some of you checking out at this point, but this cannot be stressed enough in my opinion.
I don't mean that you need to become an acclaimed chef overnight - start small, basic, and figure out which flavours you like and build from there. Good food doesn't need to be complex.
The most fundamental part of being human is food - it's how we celebrate, socialise and comfort ourselves - and as such it's a huge source of financial waste. Learning how to cook is generally associated with healthy eating and makes you less likely to:

I say "regularly" because if you work full time and have other hobbies or commitments then you're not going to be able to cook meals from scratch every night of the week, it's just not realistic and even though I love cooking I certainly don't. 

Anyone* can learn to cook; having a basic understanding of cooking means you can suss out quick and easy to make meals and buy cheaper fresh or tinned alternatives to pre-prepared sauces and ready meals (e.g. chopped tomatoes and spices vs jars of pasta or curry sauce). It also means that you find more enjoyment in food you've created than in dining out frequently, and if you master the "fakeaway" makes you less likely to splurge on takeaways.

Additionally, if you make extra for dinner then it means you can avoid buying supermarket meal deals or eating out for lunch the next day.

*Availability of equipment, energy (gas & electricity), and general level of physical and mental health are aspects that may limit an individual's ability to cook. 

Ah, and you thought you'd get through this post without any references to vegetarianism or veganism. Sorry to disappoint but contrary to the opinion that vegan food is inherently expensive, meat free dishes are typically cheaper than those with meat in them. Even if being vegetarian or vegan is not something you're willing to entertain you should normalise having meals that don't revolve around meat if you want to save money. Chilli made from beans (extra super saver points if it's canned supermarket basics range) costs very little to make per portion, and lentil or vegetable curries are as similarly cheap (using frozen veg - again, extra points if it's supermarket basic/saver range).

Long life foods with lots of nutritional value like tinned beans and vegetables, dried pulses (e.g. lentils), and frozen vegetables are often available at low cost and make great low-cost meals. A lot of this goes back to learning how to cook, as a lot of working class cooking (in my experience) is based around cooking what you know to avoid the potential for food waste which sometimes isn't actually the most cost-effective overall.

Remember when I said I was not a money saving expert? Well,  I learned the hard way that you need to constantly keep an eye on what energy tariff you're on or you might be overpaying. Even if (like me) switching energy companies leaves you a little uncertain, you should keep an eye on the available tariffs within your existing supplier. I recently switched and saved over £20 a month and I should have done it way sooner than I did.

Keep an eye on those cancellation or switching fees on the tariffs you choose too or you might get hit with a big charge if you want to change supplier or tariff later on.

Comparison websites offering 2-for-1 meals or cinema tickets for purchasing insurance (including travel insurance within the UK for £5) or free to sign up loyalty schemes are obvious ways to get discounts or save money on items or events you'd be purchasing anyway. Be mindful not to spend money on things you wouldn't normally though, it's not "15% off" if you're spending money you didn't intend to in the first place. If buying online, have a quick search about for valid voucher codes before you confirm your purchase. Say "yes" to the free points or loyalty cards, and remember to use them when you make a purchase, and use cash back sites (only use trustworthy ones that are well documented and reviewed online). You can also make money from taking part in survey sites like YouGov - have a look at all the options like this that take relatively little effort on your part.

There are lots of sites out there dedicated to reducing waste and saving money - consider these if you're looking for furniture or to look for discounted food from restaurants etc. Consider clothes swaps instead of buying new, or using sites like Depop or Ebay to sell old clothes before buying new items of clothing. These options are also eco-friendly so it's another win.

Anything you disagree with or would add that you think I've missed?  Let me know in the comments!

I long for a world where mental illness is no longer a shameful taboo, where anyone can talk about any symptom without being judged, and any step towards that is something to be celebrated earnestly. But the truth is, and I judge myself for it, I am jealous of the way people with certain illnesses can be open about them and the response society has to them. All mental illnesses are horrible, they can all be devastating and we should never try and promote one by diminishing another. I would never wish to have depression, or anorexia nervosa - anorexia has one of the highest mortality rates of all mental illness and it's a horrendously cruel disorder - but there is a part of me that longs for the response people get when they find the courage to be open about their struggles. They are (rightfully) inundated with messages about their strength, their courage, how proud people are and I long for that after years of living in suffocating shame at my aberrant symptoms. 

Of course it is a double-edged sword for people with these illnesses - people are more accepting of these disorders because they exist just outside society's norm (who hasn't felt sad, anxious, or wanted to be slimmer?) but that also means they make more assumptions, misunderstand the complexities of them and are more likely to be diminutive of them.

But oh, how I could imagine opening up to my friends and family about the fact I've battled self harm since the age of 11. How I wish I could talk about my past experiences with dissociation and the abject fear that things in the dark were coming to get me. The rage that builds up, the absolute and uncontrollable despair that being left or ignored by people can cause. The fact that I can feel suicidal one minute and then positively ecstatic the next, or the fact that some times it's a struggle to  get out of bed and then all of a sudden I feel like I can take on the world. The fact that there are multiple versions of me and I don't know how to mould them into one, whole person. The fact that sometimes it feels like my personality changes with the song I'm listening to. That I've gone days without eating because I feel empty, like there is nothing inside of me but ticking clockwork. The fact that I rip my hair  out even when I wish I could stop. The fact that the worst thing about every relapse I've ever had is the undeniable sense of how good it feels. Because that's the thing, isn't it? We tell people how awful we feel, how hopeless we feel - and it's true - but we keep that little moment to ourselves, right before the reality sets in, that moment where it brings nothing but relief and satiation. That is the ultimate taboo. That's what we can't talk about.

My anxiety is awful and I hate when people downplay it, but I don't fear rejection when I talk about it. I blame everything on "anxiety" because I know I will be judged less for that than any of my other illnesses. And I hate myself for feeling this way, because I know how tough living with mental illness is, regardless of what diagnosis you've had slapped on your file, but I just wish we weren't separated into camps by society on what is deemed "brave", "acceptable" and "unacceptable". I can't help but think my struggles might be slightly easier if I wasn't judged for talking about them, and I wish I could feel differently but I don't and it is eating away at me day by day.

I'm sorry, I know this isn't okay, that I am a bad advocate and I wish I could change it but I can't, and it is making me resentful and angry at the world. I am sick of society dictating how we should act and feel, and seeing our illness as a choice or failing, or that we are "too crazy" or "freaks". It is hard enough living with it as it is. So please do not stop your push for mental health awareness with the more palatable disorders, and push for everyone across the world of mental ill health.

The European Parliamentary Elections went pretty much as expected in the UK with a poor overall turnout and massive constituency gains for The Brexit Party in England and Wales, and a roaring success for the (pro-EU) SNP in Scotland, the two, as ever being at entire opposite spectrums politically (and with Northern Ireland doing their own Sinn Fein/DUP dance, as usual).

It's this Brexit divide, rather than the success of the SNP themselves, that has made this vote feel like Scottish independence is dancing in front of us, becoming enticingly closer every day. Caution should be stressed in interpreting this result; this was not a vote for independence, and the message to read here is that of pro-EU, rather than anti-UK sentiment. Additionally, with a voter turnout of just below 40% across Scotland, it would be foolhardy to assume this represents a tangible shift in electorate opinion with regards to independence or that these would translate into "Yes" votes in a so-called IndyRef2.

But it does seem that for the first time since 2014, we are resolutely crashing to the realisation that we, as a politically, socially, and economically distinct country, are no longer compatible with the rest of the UK. It's that image, yellow Scotland sitting high above a sea of blue Brexit Party constituencies, that seems to sum up so simply and succinctly the cold, hard, truth - that we are already our own country, but one shackled to a union that doesn't care about our opinion, our society or our economy, despite it being a prominent source of their own (see: oil, food/drink exports, life sciences and technology, tourism etc). 

This isn't an attempt to promote rabid nationalism, in fact it is quite the opposite. When I imagine an independent Scotland, I imagine an open, diverse country that prioritises the health and education of its citizens, with a focus on environmentalism and technological advancement. This is a country that offers us free healthcare, free education, and cloned the very first mammal - we are a country determined to constantly move forward. When I think of being British, the truth is, I am utterly ashamed. I am ashamed to be a country involved in illegal wars that kill millions of civilians, that arms countries that kill innocent children, that pushes people into poverty, and the sick and disabled to death, and I am desperately ashamed of this pervasive and misplaced sense of colonialism that refuses to die. The British Empire was based on nothing but savagery, murder, and brutalisation - it is a national shame, not an achievement, but at its heart, pro-Brexit hysteria is the heirloom from this past - a belief that we are somehow a jewel in the world's crown and that outside forces seek to sully us, so we must withdraw and protect. That we are some high and mighty royal force, and that we grace the world with our presence simply by existing. I cannot abide it, and it makes me faintly ill. The UK undoubtedly has a lot to offer the world, so why are so many determined to keep us rooted firmly in the past instead of looking to a global future where we can help the world instead of laying waste to it? The more time passes, the less I am able to marry up these two ideas in my head, and unless something changes, I cannot see the union lasting for another lifetime. Remember that it was the threat of EU membership that prompted many to vote against independence in 2014 - what a slap in the face this political circus is today, then. 

If anything was to save the union, it would be a centre-left, Labour-led government in Westminister, not bowing to the squalls of the rich and entitled, and standing for the disenfranchised working class. So where is the opposition?

When Jeremy Corbyn first came onto the scene, he was - I thought - a breath of fresh air in politics dominated by private school alumni with their own best interests at heart. Here was a man that couldn't be bought, that had common sense even when it seemed controversial to do so. It was this that made him a threat to the establishment, and made him a target for media smear campaigns, and this undoubtedly impacted his campaign approach. With everything Jeremy Corbyn said being liable to being twisted in the media, it made sense for him to weigh up the options, to tred carefully and be sure that he was on the correct course. The lead up to Brexit, when nobody seemed to agree on what they wanted, was the perfect time to let the Conservatives fight it out, to drag each other down and exhaust solutions and to watch how the electorate reacted to it all. But somewhere along the way, Jeremy Corbyn lost his nerve, and it has cost him dearly in I fear not only this election, but in votes to come unless he switches course.

When the Conservative party imploded, Jeremy Corbyn had an opportunity that opposition leaders can only dream of to swoop in and well...be the opposition; instead he slept on it, trying to stay a course that appealed to as any voters as possible, and losing credibility in doing so.  

I get it, there is no "good" Brexit position to take, but the only thing worse than a polarising Brexit stance is no stance at all, and Labour found that out the hard way this election. The worst part is, it was this kind of political strategy that saw us into this mess in the first place; rather than pick clear policies and positions, David Cameron (who himself was pro-remain) built the Brexit  referendum into the Conservative manifesto purely to gain votes from UKIP, who were starting to gain ground and threaten the right-leaning government. His embarrassing defeat should have been a warning to Jeremy Corbyn and indeed every politician that betraying your core values and political stance in a vain attempt to appeal to voters that wouldn't typically vote for you will backfire. If a manifesto or position is good enough, then it should stand up almost on its own.

Jeremy Corbyn, if you can't have faith in your party's vision of Brexit, then why should your voters? Why should they place their trust in you when even you don't seem to have a cohesive idea of what you stand for these days? Return to strong Labour policies that are pro-working class, pro-diversity and anti-austerity and the rest will fall into place. The simplest thing for you to do now, as it was weeks ago, is to back a second referendum and pledge to deliver whatever result the vote returns. Will it please everyone? Absolutely not, but then when did anyone in politics ever please everyone?

Life can be difficult, and it can be lonely. 

There are times where we imagine ourselves adrift and alone in a sea of people; people that we feel inherently separate from. 

Isolated. 

Disconnected. 

Surrounded by people but not belonging to or with them. 

We look down at our phones and see fake smiles and well-practised “candid” travel snaps, we read the highlights of people's lives and we see the social groups we are left out of and we see ourselves as an insignificant part in a random and chaotic world. In a world that seems full of disorder (and living with a brain that sometimes feels the same) it can be hard to understand where we fit in to each other's lives. 

But we are all of us connected; some of us by blood, by love, by friendship, work, shared interests, and some of us by actions that bore consequences we never considered. Our impact on this world is greater than we know and how we affect one another is more significant than we believe. Invisible threads snake their way through each of our lives, linking us together at the very core of our humanity. Like gravity, an unseen force pulling us together without ever being consciously felt. Things that don't seem linked are inexplicably connected, our actions rippling out in ways we don't always comprehend. 

I think of the night I didn't die by suicide at the age of 16, when my parents decided to surprise me with new bedroom flooring. In moving my furniture around they discovered evidence of my secret self harming, and in confronting me about it they stopped me from carrying out my plan. They thought they were doing a small act of kindness and DIY and instead inadvertently saved my life. 

We are constantly making choices, unaware of the significance of them, oblivious to the impact that reverberates through the lives of others. 

We are not solo instruments but part of an orchestra, all working towards momentous crescendo even if we never see the conductor, even if we are never aware that we are working collectively. If you ever doubt the simple yet profound connection we share, attend a live music event. Feel the collective adoration, the fans singing in unison, the freedom for an hour or two from the mundane lives as the crowd comes together, reaching towards their idols and screaming along to songs that are simultaneously personal and shared by all. Attend a football or a rugby game and hear the sighs of disappointment and the euphoric cries as the crowd breathes as one. Visit a friends and family and feel how their very existence shapes your life every day. 

Nothing in this world lacks connection, even when the world feels cold and lonely; connection is a force that surrounds us every day.