I thought I'd start with a definition:

Friend (noun):

a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.

Physical proximity or regular face-to-face contact does not factor into the definition of "friend", however we seem to see it as a prerequisite for someone to be a "real" friend.

In a life increasingly dominated by technology, and as our general lives become busier and busier, friendships and relationships are becoming increasingly shaped by social media. The communication that exists between us has changed with technology and often our conversations are primarily centred around online media even for those friends we know in "real life".

So why is it that despite talking as often (if not more) to our online friends as we do our IRL friends that the former are not credited as being "real" friends?

To me, a "real" friend is someone that shows up for you, that's there for you and who supports you. In a time where it's commonplace to find a lifelong romantic partner on dating apps I can't understand why social media friends aren't given the same credence that friends from our daily "physical" lives are. I think Laura summed it up perfectly in her post about online friends.

I've found the best type of friendships on Twitter since I've started my blog. Friendships that are genuine and open and supportive. I've found it with many people that I admire, but there's one group that I hold particularly special.

The "Nine Nine".

So-called because of a love of the show Brooklyn-Nine Nine, this originally started as a series of casual Twitter exchanges, eventually moving into a group chat ("The Nine Nine"). What it evolved into is one of the best friendship groups I've ever been part of.

The Nine Nine all in one place!

When I was invited to Birmingham to be the keynote speaker of a workshop on social media and mental health, I was excited because I knew that Laura (@picturepositive) and Beth (@BethHalligan) were coming to see me and spend time together. When I arrived, I had the wonderful surprise of Ethan (@GreyMatterLeaks) being there too!

So we spent the day driving round and then having a drink before I went back to my room to practise my talk, shower, and panic slightly.

Photo credit to the lovely B

When they arrived in the morning, there was yet another surprise for me...Twitter's favourite feminist princess, THE Lav (@LavraxLondon) was with them too!

The Nine Nine was all in one place, after months of talking!

💕💕💕💕💕

They came from all over the UK to support me and yet there are some people who wouldn't consider them real friends.


I'm so eternally grateful for my friends, they're beautiful, kind, intelligent, amazing, supportive humans and they are truly wonderful. I love you guys!

Special shout out to B who organised so much of the meet up and managed to keep Ethan a secret from me and Lav a secret from all of us! You're amazing!